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seriously dating
one of the
books we use when mentoring seriously dating couples is
titled "Finding the Love of Your Life-Ten Principles for
Choosing The Right Marriage Partner," by Neil Clark Warren.
The ten
principles contained in the book are
-
Eliminate the
seven most prevalent causes of faulty mate selection
-
develop a
clear mental image of your ideal spouse
-
find a person
to love who is a lot like you
-
get yourself
healthy before you get yourself married
-
find a love
you can feel deep in your heart and express it carefully
-
let passionate
love mature before you decide to marry
-
master the art
of intimacy
-
learn how to
clear conflict from the road of love
-
refuse to
proceed until you can genuinely pledge your lifelong
commitment
-
celebrate your
marriage with the full support of family and friends.
The second
book we use when mentoring seriously dating couples is "How
to Avoid Marrying a Jerk," by dr. john van epp. he
developed a relationship attachment model (ram) that shows
there are five bonding factors at work in any relationship
-
knowing the
person
-
trusting the
person
-
relying on the
person to meet your needs
-
making a
commitment to the person
-
getting
physically involved with the person
these five
factors are in a hierarchical order and you dare not let one
exceed the previous. otherwise you will end up getting
disappointed or hurt by that person:
-
you should
never trust a person beyond what you know about them.
-
you should
never rely on a person to meet your needs beyond how much
you trust them.
-
you should
never make a commitment to a person beyond how much you have
come to rely on them.
-
you should
never get physically involved with the person beyond your
level of commitment to the person.
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