All engaged couples talk to each other.  However, you may not be talking about
some of the more important marriage-related issues, or you may not be talking
deeply enough about certain issues.  When we are mentoring an engaged couple,
we use the analogy of peeling an onion.  You may have talked about an issue, but
it may just be surface level discussion.  Or, you may have talked about an issue in
depth and have not reached agreement.  You may be thinking, "We will work it out
after we get married."  The best time to discuss these issues is before you walk
down the aisle.  As a result, we use a pre-marital inventory to identify important
marriage-related issues, how deeply you have discussed these issues, and how
much you agree or disagree on these issues. 

The three most popular inventories are FOCCUS, PREPARE and RELATE.

FOCCUS is generally used in the Catholic Pre-Cana programs.  However, there is a
Christian non-denominational version available.  We prefer to use FOCCUS in our
marriage mentoring ministry because it is tailored for use by lay mentor couples.
The FOCCUS facilitator notebook is an excellent guide that can be used when
meeting with an engaged couple.  The Family Life Office of the Archdiocese of
Cincinnati operates the FOCCUS scoring software and generally returns the
results to us within a week.

PREPARE is generally used by professional counselors and clergy.  To find
individuals certified to administer the PREPARE inventory in your area, go to http://www.prepare-enrich.com/couples.cfm?id=35  and enter Ohio or your
ZIP CODE.

PREPARE / ENRICH  one-day clergy / counselor trainings in the following Ohio cities: 
Akron
Ashland
Cedarville
Cincinnati
Cleveland Heights
Columbus
Dayton
Lakeside
Norwalk
Click on http://www.prepare-enrich.com/workshop_schedule.cfm?state=OH

RELATE If you and your fiancee are separated by distance, you can use the on-line premarital inventory called RELATE.   Each of you can log in separately and take the assessment.  The assessment includes over 200 questions, after which you receive a detailed report to help you interpret your (and your fiancee's) responses.

RELATE is available online, at http://www.relate-institute.org/

The table below lists the issues addressed by each of the premarital inventories:

FOCCUS                                            PREPARE                                RELATE
Communication                                    Communication                        Effective Communication
Problem Solving                                   Conflict Resolution                    Conflict Resolution
Personal Issues & Personality Match     Personality Issues                    Kindness/Flexibility
Financial Issues                                   Financial Management
Religion & Values                                 Spiritual Issues                        Religiosity/Spirituality
Parenting Issues                                   Children & Parenting
Friends & Interests                                Family/Friends/Leisure Activities
Sexuality Issues                                   Sexual Expectations
Readiness Issues                                 Realistic Expectations              Emotional Readiness
Lifestyle Expectations                           Role Relationship                     Relationship Satisfaction/Stability
Family of Origin                                    Family of Origin                        Family Background
                                                           Idealistic Distortion                   
Marriage Covenant                                Marriage Expectations             
Extended Family Issues                       
Dual Careers                                       
Interfaith Marriages                               
Second Marriages                                
Cohabiting Couples