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premarital inventories
All engaged
couples talk to each other. However, you may not be talking
about some of the more important marriage-related issues, or
you may not be talking deeply enough about certain issues.
When we are mentoring an engaged couple, we use the analogy
of peeling an onion. You may have talked about an issue,
but it may just be surface level discussion. Or, you may
have talked about an issue in depth and have not reached
agreement. You may be thinking, "We will work it out after
we get married." The best time to discuss these issues is
before you walk down the aisle. As a result, we use a
pre-marital inventory to identify important marriage-related
issues, how deeply you have discussed these issues, and how
much you agree or disagree on these issues.
The three
most popular inventories are FOCCUS, PREPARE and RELATE.
FOCCUS is generally
used in the Catholic Pre-Cana programs. However, there is a
Christian non-denominational version available. We prefer
to use FOCCUS in our marriage mentoring ministry because it
is tailored for use by lay mentor couples.
The FOCCUS facilitator notebook is an excellent guide that
can be used when meeting with an engaged couple. The
FOCCUS inventory is available online. To find
clergy/counselors who can administer the inventory, click on
http://www.foccusinc.com/
PREPARE is generally
used by professional counselors and clergy. To find
individuals certified to administer the PREPARE inventory in
your area, go to
http://www.prepare-enrich.com/couples.cfm?id=35 and
enter Ohio or your ZIP CODE.
PREPARE / ENRICH one-day clergy / counselor
trainings in the following Ohio cities:
Akron
Ashland
Cedarville
Cincinnati
Cleveland Heights
Columbus
Dayton
Lakeside
Norwalk
Click on
http://www.prepare-enrich.com/workshop_schedule.cfm?state=OH
RELATE If you and
your fiancee are separated by distance, you can use the
on-line premarital inventory called RELATE. Each of you
can log in separately and take the assessment. The
assessment includes over 200 questions, after which you
receive a detailed report to help you interpret your (and
your fiancee's) responses.
RELATE is available online,
at
http://www.relate-institute.org/
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