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recommended reading
list
the books
listed below in alphabetic order are some of our favorites
that we have used in our marriage ministry. they are
in bibliography format, with links to amazon.com so you can
read the book reviews, or write your own book review.
you can also order either new or used copies of the books.
we have ordered used copies of various books for
substantially less than the new price. dick has added
personal comments about how we use the resource or what we
like about it.
An
Empty Cradle, A Full Heart - Reflections For Mothers And
Fathers After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death - by
Christine O'Keeffe Lafser
Published by Loyola Press, ISBN 0-8294-1173-9. To order
from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0829411739/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
Boundaries - When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take
Control of Your Life - by Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend,
Published by Zondervan, ISBN 0-310-24745-4. To order
from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0310247454/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Every young married couple
should read this if your parents are trying to manipulate
you by laying guilt trips on you.
Breast Cancer Husband - How To Help Your Wife (And Yourself)
Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond, by Marc Silver,
Published by Rodale, ISBN 1-57954-833-4. To order from
Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1579548334/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This book provided excellent
information to help me ride this emotional roller coaster
with my wife.
Boundaries in Marriage - It Takes Two To Become One - by Dr
Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend Published by Zondervan,
ISBN 0-310-24314-9. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0310243149/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
Can Stepfamilies Be Done Right? - by Joann & Seth Webster
Published by Creation House Publishers, ISBN
0884196747. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0884196747/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Alternating chapters by the
evil stepmother and the rebellious stepson give you
a great perspective on the issues blended families are
experiencing.
The
Divorce Remedy - The Proven 7-Step Program For Saving Your
Marriage - by Michele Weiner Davis
Published by Simon & Schuster, ISBN 0-684-87354-0. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0684873540/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: If you are willing to work
at saving your marriage, and your spouse is not willing
to work at it, this book is for you.
Faithful Attraction, Discovering Intimacy, Love and Fidelity
in American Marriage - by Andrew M Greeley
Published by Tom Doherty Associates, ISBN
0-312-85109-X. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=031285109X/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This is the origin of the
phrase "Couples that pray together stay together." See
pages 192 & 198
Feminine Appeal-Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother - by
Carolyn Mahoney
Published by Crossway Books, ISBN-10: 1-58134-615-8. To order from Amazon.com, click on
COMMENT:
Great explanation & illustrations of Titus Chapter 2 (Older
women teach younger women...). Great explanation of the
priority order of God, spouse, then children. See page
43
Finding The Love Of Your Life - Ten Principles For Choosing
The Right Marriage Partner - by Neil Clark Warren
Published by Focus On The Family Publishing, ISBN
1-56179-088-5. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1561790885/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Contains excellent self
assessments that he incorporated into eHarmony.com
The
Five Love Languages - by Gary Chapman
Published by Northfield Publishing, ISBN 1-881273-15-6.
To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1881273156/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: I always wondered why some
people were so crazy over greeting cards and I was not.
This book gave me the answer. The Love Language assessment
is an integral part of our marriage
mentoring process.
The
Five Love Languages of Children - by Gary Chapman & Ross
Campbell
Published by Northfield Publishing, ISBN 1-881273-65-2.
To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1881273652/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: By observing the way our kids
act and talk, we can identify their love languages.
For
Women Only, What You Need to Know About The Inner Lives of
Men - by Shaunti Feldhahn
Published by Multnomah Publishers, ISBN 1-59052-317-2.
To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1590523172/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Women, if you want to
understand how we males think, this is the book to read.
For
Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to The Inner Lives of
Women - by Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn
Published by Multmonah Publishers, ISBN 1590525728. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1590525728/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20/
COMMENT: Jeff & his wife Shaunti
teamed up to help us men understand how women think.
His
Needs Her Needs - by Willard F Harley, Jr
Published by Revell, ISBN 0-8007-1788-0. To order from
Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0800717880/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: The Emotional Needs
Questionnaire in Appendix B is excellent. The companion
book,
"Surviving An Affair," goes on the premise that affairs are
a result of unmet emotional needs.
Hooked-New Science On
How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children - by Joe S
Mcilhaney, Jr & Freda Mckissic Bush
Published by Northfield Publishing, ISBN 0-8024-5060-1.
COMMENT: Excellent discussion on
how the brain's neurochemicals work. And a discussion of sex
& bonding factors in the adolescent brain. This is a
great resource for promoting pre-marital sexual abstinence.
How
To Avoid Marrying a Jerk - by Dr. John Van Epp
Published by McGraw Hill, ISBN 0-07-147285-7. To order
from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0071472657/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: The Relationship Attachment
Model discussed in the book is the best description
I have seen of the bonding factors in a relationship.
Click
here to see how we use this model
to make a great case to support sexual abstinence before
marriage
We use his videos in our mentoring of seriously dating
couples.
Intended For Pleasure - Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment
In Christian Marriage - by
Ed Wheat and Gaye Wheat
Published by Revell, ISBN 0-80071736-8. To order from
Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0800717368/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Written by a physician who
is a Christian, the first few chapters talk about what the
Bible
says about sex, then it goes into specific anatomy lessons.
We give a copy of this book to every couple
going through marriage preparation mentoring.
Intimate Issues, 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex
- by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus
Published by Waterbrook Press, ISBN 1-57856-149-3. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1578561493/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Ladies, you are not the
first to ask the question.
The
Introvert Advantage-How To Thrive In An Extrovert World - by
Marti Olsen Laney
Published by Workman Publishing, ISBN 0-7611-2369-5. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0761123695/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: I'm an introvert and it took
me a lifetime to learn these techniques.
Irregular People - by Joyce Landorf Heatherley
Published by Balcony Publishing, ISBN 0-929488-00-8. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0929488008/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This book helped my wife
deal with my dad, who was a constant irritation to her.
Is
There Really Sex After Kids? - by Jill Savage
Published by Zondervan, ISBN 0-310-23743-2. To order
from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0310237432/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
Liberated Through Submission-God's Design For Freedom in All
Relationships - by P.B. Wilson
Published by Harvest House Publishers, ISBN
0-89081-843-6. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0890818436/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Pages 68-70 contain the best
explanation I have seen for God's job description
for a husband and a wife.
Lies
At the Altar - The Truth About Great Marriages - by Dr Robin
L. Smith, Published by Hyperion,
ISBN 1-4013-0256-4. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1401302564/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: We mentor many couples who
get into trouble in their marriage because they believe the
lies Robin describes. The dialogues she has couples do in
her counseling sessions are the same we strive to achieve in
our mentor sessions.
Love
and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He
Desperately Needs - by Emerson Eggerich
Published by Integrity Publishers, ISBN 1591451876. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1591451876/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This entire book
is based on Ephesians 5:33. And he is right, we males crave
respect.
And we won't give love to our wives if we don't feel
respected by them.
Making Sense Of The Men In Your Life - by Kevin Leman
Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, ISBN
0-8407-3494-8. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0840734948/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Chapters 9 and 10 contain
the best written male perspective on sex that I have seen.
Marriage Savers - Helping Your Friends and Family Avoid
Divorce - by Michael J. McManus
Published by Zondervan, ISBN0-310-38661-6. To order
from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0310386616/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This book inspired us to
start our marriage ministry.
Men
Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti - by Bill & Pam
Farrel
Published by Harvest House Publishers, ISBN
0-7369-0486-7. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0736904867/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: A great explanation of how
we males can compartmentalize our thoughts and
why women cannot. Ladies, at times we males CAN be thinking
about absolutely nothing.
Personality Plus For Couples - Understanding Yourself and
The One You Love - by Florence Littauer
Published by Revell, ISBN 0-8007-5764-5. To order from
Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0800757645/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
Personality Plus - How To Understand Others By Understanding
Yourself - by Florence Littauer
Published by Revell, ISBN 0-8007-5445-X. To order from
Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=080075445X/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Before reading this book, I
thought my wife was doing things just to irritate me or
because she didn't take our relationship seriously.
We give this book and the assessment to every couple going
through the marriage mentoring process.
The
Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands - by Dr Laura Schlessinger
Puplished by Harper Collins, ISBN 0-06-052061-2. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060520612/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Dr Laura gives a lot of
practical advice (by a woman to women) about how we
males think and act (e.g. On page 119 "Sex is to a husband
what conversation is to a wife.")
The
Secrets of Happily Married Men - by Dr Scott Haltzman
Puplished by Jossey Bass, ISBN 978-0-7879-9414-3.
COMMENT: Dr Haltzman gives a
checklist of eight eight things men can do to keep their
wives happy.
The
Secrets of Happily Married Women - by Dr Scott Haltzman
Puplished by Jossey Bass, ISBN 978-0-470-40180-4
COMMENT: Dr
Haltzman gives a checklist of seven things women can do to
keep their husbands happy.
Sheet
Music - Uncovering The Secrets of Sexual Intimacy In
Marriage - by Kevin Leman
Published by Tyndale House Publishers, ISBN
0-8423-6024-7. To order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0842360247/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This book is even better
than Making Sense of the Men In Your Life
Surviving An Affair - by Willard Harley & Jennifer Harley
Chalmers
Puplished by Revell, ISBN 0-8007-1758-9. To order from
Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0800717589/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: This is the book we use when
we mentor couples who are trying to recover from
an affair. The Policy of Joint Agreement is an integral
part of our standard mentoring procedures.
The
Sex-Starved Marriage, A Couple's Guide To Boosting Their
Marriage Libido - by Michele Weiner Davis
Published by Simon & Schuster, ISBN 0-7432-2732-8. To
order from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0743227328/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: The author is a marriage
therapist, has been married 30 years and has two children.
This gives her credibility in my eyes.
The
Unexpected Legacy of Divorce - A 25 Year Landmark Study - by
Judith Wallerstein, Julia
Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee
Published by Hyperion, ISBN 0-7868-6394-3. To order
from Amazon.com, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0786863943/redirect-home/ohiomarriager-20
COMMENT: Evidence that children of
divorce ARE damaged.
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